Through my meditation sessions I have learned that my body movements are directed by the Spiritual Me. I ran a little test a few days ago where I was deep in meditation and I tried directing my body with that part of me. It worked like a charm. I could go forward and back, side to side and in circles. I have learned to trust that my spirit can move me, literally. So today in my meditation I used that knowledge to ask my spirit some questions. I want to know “What is my job on this planet with a capital J?” (Jon Kabat-Zinn) Using my body movements as answers, I have found that I am supposed to do something with my reading. I have read a lot of books, on a lot of topics. I am very resourceful, this is the observation of Margie, my life coach. I believe I am here on this earth to awaken and help others awaken. Now I know that I am going to do this through my knowledge and reading of books. When I asked if I was going to write book reviews, my spirit said no. So I waited, alert, ”How am I going to help people awaken by reading books?” Nothing. Okay, that’s great. I’m really getting somewhere now. : )
Last night I was taken over by my gremlin, Maud, for a moment. I was suddenly fearful that I would not be able to pay for anything that my family has come to count on. Like dinners out, a trip to Disney World, plants for the garden. I thought, “I bring home $5000 a month, $5000!! How the hell am I going to do without that?” Just writing these words brings butterflys to my belly. My head says, “This is crazy! Now you think you are going to read books and replace that income?? Ha! You are one stupid girl.” Now, I want to cry. This is crazy, deep breath. You can do this, you can do this. Breathe. My husband is slightly frantic. He thinks it is his job to support us and he needs to start making more money. I tell him that it will be fine. The Universe has a plan. He looks doubtful and says that he wants to be part of the process and discuss what needs to happen. I keep assuring him that I won’t be doing nothing, that I am going to be making money…somehow. We have compromised on my working a little bit as a pharmacist to make up for the deficit. He is actually a little concerned that this will affect my search for my true purpose. I am touched that he wants to make this happen for me and feels responsible for taking care of us. I will let him do what he needs to do.
Tags: life's purpose, meditation
