I wake up extra early again. The ’spiritual me’ keeps a different schedule than the ‘egoic me’. It is best to meditate before my spouse and child get up. The meditation started out with the familar left to right movement, but no pull in either direction this time. The movement makes me think of a diving rod. My intentions “the call” and now “I meditate to connect to the spiritual” are there. I feel my “vision” is open on both sides now so there is no struggle. The movement slows then settles into a new movement. It is small forward movements, like small tugs. Again, this starts to concern me because I’m sitting and want to remain so. But, I find myself in a seated bow. I think of Muslims bowing. I relax, okay I’m bowing to the spirit. I am humble to it. I shift to a child’s pose, arms back. Nothing else is coming. Okay, so the message is give in to it, humble myself and be patient. Yesterday I felt a new calm. A kind of peace from knowing that I do not know what is coming. I am so grateful for Eckhart Tolle’s lession to be comfortable in the not knowing. Also for a close friend who understands and encourages me to stay present so that I don’t send out vibrations of anxiety from not knowing. This force is more powerful than me. I am to humble myself to it. Continue to break down the ego so that I may move forward in this journey.
Lessons in Meditation: Meditate to connect to the spiritual. Give in to the force, there is pain in resistance. Bow to the force, it is more powerful than you.
